COFFEE

What a treat.  To be taken out for coffee.

Coffee and Good Chat.  Two things I like best.

Coffee, Good Chat, and Cake.  BOOM!  Win Win Win.

And Caffeine has been found to be a potent pain killer.  So, when my MS is causing me chronic pain, which it does; when I am in real real PAIN, what could be nicer, could be lovelier than to be taken out for coffee.  Or when I am feeling SO terrible, so so very terrible that I can't even make it out, to have such a wonderful friend that will think to bring me coffee. How amazing are my friends. Even Sonic was impressed.

Caffeine is a powerful stimulant that affects the central nervous system.  And Caffeine is an added ingredient to many over-the-counter and prescription pain medications, as it aids the 'take up' on the pain medication and its absorption into the body.

There are probably four people that I really really should thank over everyone else; who have ensured that I am taken out for coffee, or stay in for coffee.  In no particular order: Papa, John, Jill and Geraldine. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You.

HAPPY2

Well I have just completed the 100 Happy Days Challenge.  This is an initiative of the Random Acts of Kindness (#RAK) Foundation.  It has been great fun.  It really has been great fun.

We are reminded that, "We live in times when super-busy schedules have become something to boast about. While the speed of life increases, there is less and less time to enjoy the moment that you are in.  The ability to appreciate the moment, the environment and yourself in it is the base for the bridge towards long-term happiness of any human being.  We need to be reminded to take joy and take pleasure from the small things.  And in doing so, we may discover that these things are not so small after all.  These are in fact the big things."

So, "The idea is simple.  The idea is to every day submit a picture of what made you happy!"

A snap-shot, of a moment, that captures; that truly captures the 'happy'.

You are reminded that "It is important to remember that the #100happyday challenge is for you - not for anyone else".  It is not a happiness competition or a showing off contest.  If you try to please / make others jealous via your pictures - you lose without even starting.  Same goes for cheating."  It is important to remember that happiness is not a competition.  Happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.

This reminds me of the quote by Henry David Thoreau, (the American author, poet, philosopher, historian, and leading various other things) which was on a card sent to me by a dear friend, “Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder...”

Visitwww.100happydays.com/foundationfor more information. 

Apparently, "71% of people tried to complete this challenge, but failed quoting lack of time as the main reason". These people simply did not have time to be happy.  How can you not have time to be happy?  Surely you are doing something wrong if you can't find the time; make the time, to be happy.  

So, you take a photo of something that has made you happy.  "It can be anything from a meet-up with a friend to a very tasty cake in the nearby coffee place, from a feeling of being at home after a hard day to a favor you did to a stranger."  Your favourite beer; or favourite fabric softner on special offer at the SuperMarket.  A cuddle with the cat, or watching your favourite TV Show or a piece of music played on the radio; a photo that captures and represents that moment.

I have enjoyed it.  I have really enjoyed it.  I have enjoyed the discipline and challenge of taking a daily photo.  I do already want to do it again.  I am sure that at some point I will do it again.

100 HAPPY DAYS

Everyone gets grumpy now and then, everyone sulks.  Everyone gets irritable, ill-tempered and grouchy.  Everyone gets in a bad mood, gets snappy, unpleasant and cross.  Everyone experiences an unhappy mood. Everyone gets sad.  Feels lonely.  Feels miserable.  Feels gloomy.  I simply can't be the only one?  I know that I am not; I know that I am not the only one and I know that I am not alone.  I know that when I am in pain I don't want to communicate. I want to grab my cat and lock myself away. I find it difficult to sustain interaction when I am in pain. This isn't necessarily the best way to cope. I'm sorry.

So, I have just signed up for #100HappyDays. This is an initiative of the Random Acts of Kindness (#RAK) Foundation.  What a fantastic idea. Let's give this a go. Let's be HAPPY.  A number of my friends have signed up for this with me, so we can encourage each other and share the happy.

"We live in times when super-busy schedules have become something to boast about. While the speed of life increases, there is less and less time to enjoy the moment that you are in. The ability to appreciate the moment, the environment and yourself in it is the base for the bridge towards long-term happiness of any human being. we need to be reminded to take joy and take pleasure from the small things. And in doing so, we may discover that these things are not so small after all.  These are in fact the big things."

 
Apparently, "71% of people tried to complete this challenge, but failed quoting lack of time as the main reason". These people simply did not have time to be happy. Do you have time to be happy? Are you prepared to make time to be happy?

"The idea is simple.  The idea is to every day submit a picture of what made you happy!"

"It can be anything from a meet-up with a friend to a very tasty cake in the nearby coffee place, from a feeling of being at home after a hard day to a favor you did to a stranger."  Your favourite beer or favourite fabric softner on special offer at the SuperMarket.  A cuddle with the cat, or watching your favourite TV Show or a piece of music played on the radio and a photo that captures that moment. A snap-shot of a moment that captures; that truly captures the happy.

 
"It is important to remember that the #100happyday challenge is for you - not for anyone else. It is not a happiness competition or a showing off contest. If you try to please / make others jealous via your pictures - you lose without even starting. Same goes for cheating."  It is important to remember that happiness is not a competition.  Happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy  This reminds me of the quote by Henry David Thoreau, (theAmerican author, poet, philosopher, historian, and leading various other things) which was on a card sent to me by a dear friend, “Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder...”

People successfully completing the challenge claimed to:

 - Start noticing what makes them happy every day;

 - Be in a better mood every day;

 - Start receiving more compliments from other people;

 - Realize how lucky they are to have the life they have;

 - Become more optimistic;

 - Fall in love during the challenge.

Even when the challenge is over the collected 100 happy moments can always remind you about the beauty of your life. I think that that is something worth finding the time to do.

Visitwww.100happydays.com/foundationfor more information.

BIRTHDAY

Well, this year marks my 41st Birthday. 

Yes, today I am 41 years of age.  Blimey. How did that happen?  Turning 40 last year was a bit (a lot?) of a shock, and then already that is a whole year ago, and I am 41.  And, to be honest, I'm still not a whole heap closer to ticking off any of those milestones that I was planning on having achieved by the time I was 40!

Turning 40; and especially the latter part since the beginning of 2014 it has all been a bit of a Roller Coaster.  I've not been terribly fortunate in that I have experienced health difficulties and I haven't been able to work, which has been a real struggle, as actually I rather enjoyed the routine of getting up and going to work, and meeting people and contributing, and being part of something.

I have therefore chosen to channel a lot of my thoughts and energies into this BLOG.  This has provided me with a creative outlet into which I can share my thoughts and ideas and hopes and dreams and frustrations.  The idea is that the BLOG is not a 'BLOG about MS'; the idea was that it was a BLOG about 'my life with MS'.  About me 'not being drunk' about how my MS impacts upon my life; impacts upon all areas of my life.  So, yes some of the BLOGs are directly related to specific aspects of the condition e.g.  FATIGUE; DISABILITY, while other BLOGs are related to other areas of my life, to other things I enjoy e.g. SHERLOCK HOLMES; CINEMA; KINDNESS; FRIENDS, and how my MS now directly or indirectly plays a role in those areas of my life, or not.

Things I have realised that I am immensely grateful for during this year, and yes, I did already know this, but the fact has really been brought home and been reiterated, are my family and my friends.  I don't want to name names as ultimately I am bound to forget someone (cognitive dysfunction/brain fog) and that really would be unforgiveable.  But I think those of you who have been there for me already know who you are, and now how immeasurably grateful I am to have you in my life.

I am also aware that there are people that I thought were my friends, but who are sadly unable to accept that I am not the person that I was, and that this cruel condition is not something that I have chosen or that I have control over, and they have chosen not to be friend and not to be part of my life.  I have had to sadly learn to accept this.  Realise that I probably over-estimated them.

I hope that these BLOGs are informative and useful and thought-provoking and humorous and enjoyable to read.  Thank You to those of you who do read them, those of you who leave me comments, who engage with me through these posts.  Those of you who are prepared to come along on the journey with me. Your company is valued and enjoyed and appreciated.

So, anyway, turning 41. I don't really have any plans for what the day will involve.  Possibly any of the following: Cake. Time with Friends. Presents. Laughing. Bacon Butties. Cards. Sunshine. Animals. Chocolate. Coffee. Flowers.  Ice-Cream. Happiness. Tea. Guinness. Magic Tricks. Gossiping. Pizza. Benedict CUMBERBATCH.

I certainly don't know what my 42nd year will comprise of.  I guess I shall find out.  I would love to think that it would involve catching up with those friends that I do not see very often, as well as more adventures with 'the usual suspects'.  But, as ever I shall share it with you, with those of you who are interested, in my future BLOG Posts.

So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ME!  And 'Thank You' for sharing it with me x

CURRY

My friend Rich and I decided that we would go for a curry.

Did I ever mentioned that that during the month of May I signed up to 'Meat Free May' this is an initiative of 'Friends of the Earth' (FoE)  where you are encouraged to give up eating Meat and Fish and embrace a Vegetarian Diet for the Month.  There are environmental, moral, economic and health arguments for participating.  I decided to sign up out of curiosity and interest.  I am not a vegetarian, and I am not militant in my views about vegetarian issues, but I generally chose not to eat meat; and I am hugely supportive of any campaign which aims to reduce and eliminate animal suffering.  (How anyone can eat 'Foie gras' is entirely beyond me.)

It is interesting that there has been a lot in the papers recently about the use of 'Halal' meat and the treatment of the animals, and the labeling of Halal meat, which has started a huge debate about labeling where meat comes from.  I obviously have my own personal views on the subject, but this BLOG is not intended to make moral judgments, or to preach.

Anyway, Rich and I decided we would go for a curry.  We thought we deserved it.  Rich and I have known in each since high-School, so we were about 11 when we met.  Rich and I went to the Cinema a few weeks back (see CINEMA BLOG). I love Rich lots (and I know he'll be somewhat uncomfortable and embarrassed at that obvious and apparent public display of affection).  He wrote me poetry when we were in high-School.  He is a great friend.

Rich is a vegetarian, and for him this is a personal choice which doesn't reflect in his expectations of others.  He has his own personal views on the subject, but doesn't preach to others.  We went for a pint, then we went for a curry.  We ventured to the Jamal.  The local Balti House, where you take your own beer. The Jamal is a fantastic little Balti House Restaurant (in Braunstone Gate for those of you who know Leicester) it has recently been newly refurbished and looks fantastic, all very modern and clean and light.  However, importantly the food is as good as ever.  We started with Popodoms and Pickles, well you would wouldn't you?  Rude not to really.  We both had a Biryani for our main course, which is a rice-based dish, with extra mushrooms.  It was delicious, not too spicy, just with a very subtle kick.  DELICIOUS. 

So for me an evening of good friends, good food, and good beer.   How splendid.  What else could a girl wish for? Well, perhaps Ice-Cream? But that might be pushing my luck. I had a great time.   A really great time.

FRIENDS

They say, "We don’t lose friends.  We find out who our real ones are."

I am incredibly lucky to have a number of kind, loving, energetic, strong, supportive, caring, courageous, amazing, absolutely AMAZING people in my life.  These people I am proud to call my friends.  I read a lovely article about friendship this week: '13 Socially Acceptable Ways You Act Only With Your Best Friends'.  It is frighteningly accurate: http://elitedaily.com/women/13-socially-acceptable-ways-you-act-only-with-your-best-friends/

I want to express my gratitude to those people.  To that AMAZING group of people I call my friends.  But somehow the words 'Thank You' really don't seem enough, are not hardly enough to convey all that I want to say; to let those people know how much I appreciate them.  How much I need them.  How much I love them.  I don't see all of those friends every day, not every week, not every month, not every year even, actually there are some people that I haven't yet met in person, but I can still class them as my friends, they support me.  I know that they are there; and that means the world.

Some of them have been patient and taught me things, have educated me. Some have shown me kindness.  Some have made me laugh.  Some have made me tea.  Some have shared chocolate. Some have shared adventures.  Some have bought me a beer.  On occasion too much beer.  Some have lent me money.  They have been there for me when I have needed someone to be there for me.  They have not always been able to sort things out for me, or even help, but they have ensured that I haven't faced things alone.  This is a true test of friendship.  More than I could ever ask for.  Something I am immensely grateful for.

The opening lines of the film 'Peter's Friends' begins (Stephen Fry VOICE-OVER):

"There are some friends you know you will have for the rest of your life.  You're welded together by love, trust, respect or loss.  Or in our case, simple embarrassment."

I am welded to quite a few people, yeah, especially by the embarrassment  bit.  And, yes, they are welded to me.

It is said that, "No man is ever poor who has friends."  I think that the line is used in the film 'A Wonderful Life' and it is true.  It is also true that "The happiest miser on earth is the one that saves up every friend that he has."  That quote is attributed to Robert E. SHERWOOD.

I am lucky in that I do have a wide circle of friends from various areas of my life. They make me feel valued and supported and loved.  They make me feel happy.  Some theories suggest that good friendships do actually enhance an individual's sense of happiness and well-being.  Indeed, a number of studies have found that strong social supports improve the prospects for good health and longevity.  Conversely, loneliness and a lack of social supports have been linked to negative emotions and ill-health.

I value my friends, I am grateful for my friends.  I am very fortunate that I have people in my life that care for me, who encourage me, who love me, who accept me 'just as I am' and for that, I truly am blessed.

ICE-CREAM

During the 20th Century there was a change, a huge change, an important change.  There was an increase in the availability of ice-cream.  As technology advanced and cheap refrigeration became common, ice-cream became more available, more affordable and more popular.

A good friend of mine, someone that I have now known for quite a long time, recently commented: "There are two things in life I just couldn't do without - good friends and ice-cream."

Yes, that about sums it up.  I know a couple of weeks ago in my HAPPY BLOG I posted the photo that explained that 'Happiness is regular sex and potatoes' and a photo that comments that you 'can't buy happiness but you can buy tea, and that is kind of the same thing'... and yes, there are probably other things too that do constitute happiness or that do contribute towards happiness or that make you happy.  Of course there are, in an ideal world.  But actually; 'good friends and ice-cream', yep, they are probably the two things in life, the two really important things.  Well they are a good starting point, a very good starting point anyway.  For me, I'm really not sure how I'd cope for very long without tea and probably chocolate too - so that is the three main food groups Tea, Ice-Cream, Chocolate.  But for the moment I shall concentrate my thoughts on friends and ice-cream.

Ice-Cream has kind of got 'all fancy' in recent times.  You can buy tubs of really quite exotic flavored ice-cream.  Baskin-Robbins is one of the largest chains and suppliers of 'luxury' ice-cream.  It was founded in 1945 by Burt Baskin and Irv Robbins and the company is known for its '31 flavors' slogan, with the idea that a customer could have a different flavor every day of any month.  The company now boasts that it has developed over 1000 varieties.  Blimey.  And then there is Ben & Jerry's which began in 1978 and of course Haagan Daaz which started in 1921.  All providers of quality indulgent ice-creams of the more extravagant type.


So I thought, now is probably a good time to expand my ice-cream knowledge and sample a few of the wide range of different decadent flavors available.  And indulge - All in the name of research.  And as I am researching ice-cream, I thought best to research it with good friends.  I didn't even have to ask them twice, that is how good friends they are, we juggled the diaries, husbands and children (their husbands and children) a bit, and it was all sorted.  That sort of friendship really is invaluable, it really means a great deal.  That my friends are prepared to support me.

These are my 'Book Group' friends.  We were a 'Cinema Group' but we didn't go to the Cinema.  So, we decided we would change and be a 'Book Group', but to be honest we don't read that many books either.  We read Wine Labels!   We are just a group.  A group of friends.   We might not be a very good group, but we are enthusiastic, and enthusiasm counts for a great deal I think.  We were up for the research challenge.

The ice-cream flavours we had to consider were:

• Haagan Daaz: Praline and Cream
• Ben & Jerry's: Raspberry Chocolate Chunk Greek Style Frozen Yoghurt
• Sainsbury's: Salted Peanut and Caramel
• Sainsbury's: Chocolate Brownie
• Sainsbury's: Cookie Dough

The evening also involved:

• Bailey's Coffee
• 'Four Weddings and a Funeral' DVD
• Terry's Chocolate Orange
• Wine
• Chatting
• Laughing
• Planning Future Meetings

Our conclusions:

We had a jolly lovely evening.

So, all that is left for me to say, is: 'Thank You Ladies'.  Thank You Elise, Vicky, Donna and Lynsay.  What WONDERFUL friends I have.  It has to be acknowledged that right from the outset their commitment to the cause really was admirable.  I think that some future research meetings will absolutely need to be arranged and held.  I really do definitely think we have demonstrated the determination and the commitment, and that we can resolve some of the other important pressing issues of our age.  Such as:

Wine: Red, White or Rose?

Men: Benedict CUMBERBATCH, Tom HIDDLESTONE or Hugh JACKMAN?

But, I think we have demonstrated beyond reasonable doubt that 'good friends and ice-cream' really are two of the things, two of the things that really do count in life. 

HAPPY

Thursday was 'International Day of Happiness'.  I met the girls for lunch on Thursday, two really lovely girls, and for that moment, sat eating, chatting, laughing, gossiping - I was happy.  I am lucky.  Very lucky.  To have such fabulous friends, who accept me for who I am.  Who love me 'just as I am'.

This made me think.  I had already been thinking about this.  I had been thinking about this quite a lot actually.  What is happy?  When is the last time that I felt happy?  Am I happy?  So, when is the last time that you felt happy?  Are you happy?  What makes us happy?

"Ask yourself whether you are happy and you cease to be so?"  This was the thinking of John Stuart MILL (the English Philosopher and Political Economist) who wrote about ideas such as Utilitarianism, Liberty, and Freedom of Speech.  In even asking the question 'are we happy' and analysing the answer, are we questioning our own happiness, and therefore reducing the probability that we actually are happy?  Do I deserve to be happy?  I do ask myself that.  I question that.  I question whether I deserve to be happy?  I question that all of the time.  This probably isn't healthy.  Everyone deserves to be happy.  Don't they?  To find their 'own kind of happy'.  I'm sure that happiness, what it is to be happy, means different things to different people.

And I mean 'Happy'.  Really 'Happy'. As opposed to 'Content'.  As opposed to 'Satisfied'.  As opposed to 'Pleased'. I mean HAPPY.

I think for me, happiness doesn't mean wealth and material possessions or fame or fortune.  For me happiness means loving and being loved.  They say that you can't buy happiness.  This I think is probably true.  I think that it probably true for me, for my kind of happiness.  They say that 'you can't buy happiness, but you can buy tea and that is kind of the same thing'.  There is certainly some truth in that too I think.

So what is it that makes me happy? Perhaps it is true that it is the simple pleasures in life that make us happy, that make me happy.  Bring us the most pleasure and the most happiness.  For me, it is probably a combination of the following things that make me happy. I've drawn up a little list:

♥ Time spent with friends

♥ Laughing / ♥ Talking / ♥ Sharing ideas

♥ Tea / ♥ Chocolate / ♥ Ice-Cream - i.e. the three major food groups

♥ Music

♥ A Good Book

♥ Sunshine

♥ Feeling Warm

♥ Good Health

♥ Benedict CUMBERBATCH

I think that happiness is probably linked to kindness and also linked to well-being; I think that there is probably an inextricable link between the three (Kindness, Happiness, Well-Being) (see my KINDNESS BLOG post from a few weeks ago).

I have MS.  So for me 'Good Health' is always going to be a struggle, so I shall try and concentrate on the other things on my list.  There is also probably a lot of truth in the statement that: "Nobody really cares if you are miserable, so you might as well be happy."  So, find what it is that makes you happy, and don't think too hard or too long about it; but find what it is or find who it is that make you happy, truly makes you happy, and do more of that.