HAPPY2

Well I have just completed the 100 Happy Days Challenge.  This is an initiative of the Random Acts of Kindness (#RAK) Foundation.  It has been great fun.  It really has been great fun.

We are reminded that, "We live in times when super-busy schedules have become something to boast about. While the speed of life increases, there is less and less time to enjoy the moment that you are in.  The ability to appreciate the moment, the environment and yourself in it is the base for the bridge towards long-term happiness of any human being.  We need to be reminded to take joy and take pleasure from the small things.  And in doing so, we may discover that these things are not so small after all.  These are in fact the big things."

So, "The idea is simple.  The idea is to every day submit a picture of what made you happy!"

A snap-shot, of a moment, that captures; that truly captures the 'happy'.

You are reminded that "It is important to remember that the #100happyday challenge is for you - not for anyone else".  It is not a happiness competition or a showing off contest.  If you try to please / make others jealous via your pictures - you lose without even starting.  Same goes for cheating."  It is important to remember that happiness is not a competition.  Happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.

This reminds me of the quote by Henry David Thoreau, (the American author, poet, philosopher, historian, and leading various other things) which was on a card sent to me by a dear friend, “Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder...”

Visitwww.100happydays.com/foundationfor more information. 

Apparently, "71% of people tried to complete this challenge, but failed quoting lack of time as the main reason". These people simply did not have time to be happy.  How can you not have time to be happy?  Surely you are doing something wrong if you can't find the time; make the time, to be happy.  

So, you take a photo of something that has made you happy.  "It can be anything from a meet-up with a friend to a very tasty cake in the nearby coffee place, from a feeling of being at home after a hard day to a favor you did to a stranger."  Your favourite beer; or favourite fabric softner on special offer at the SuperMarket.  A cuddle with the cat, or watching your favourite TV Show or a piece of music played on the radio; a photo that captures and represents that moment.

I have enjoyed it.  I have really enjoyed it.  I have enjoyed the discipline and challenge of taking a daily photo.  I do already want to do it again.  I am sure that at some point I will do it again.

UNHAPPY

You know that feeling, when you feel fed-up?  You feel sad.  You feel a little bit flat and a little bit miserable.  You are upset.  And you don't know why you are upset.  You just are. You are just sad. You are unhappy.

You know that there is no reason, no justification.  You have no right to be miserable.  But, nevertheless you are, and there is nothing that you or anybody else can do about it.  Do you know that feeling?

Horrible isn't it?

I've had that feeling, on and off, this week and for the last few weeks, on and off.  And I know it is unfair and I know that it is irrational, and it is silly but it still feels very real.

I feel unloved.  I feel stupid.  I feel scared.  I feel lonely, and hopeless, and I guess I feel unhappy.

There is no reason why I should feel any of these things.  I am loved.  I have wonderful family and amazing, really amazing friends.  And while I may be a bit daft, I am certainly not stupid.  There is nothing for me to be scared of.  "The only thing to fear is fear itself." as Franklin D. Roosevelt famously exclaimed.  And I have no reason to be lonely.  So why then this feeling?  This feeling of feeling unhappy?

And if I try and quantify it I realise that I am being a little bit ridiculous, a little bit of a 'drama queen', a little bit 'attention seeking'.  But I am not, and actually I can't stop it.

I guess a have a 'Black Dog', as Winston Churchill famously called his depression.  But, my 'Black Dog', while it is still black, is small and cute, and with a very waggy tail.  I am not 'depressed', I am just a little bit 'anxious' and a little bit in a low mood, and a little bit unhappy.

I feel 'unworthy'.  I have a tremendous sense of 'unworthiness', of feeling 'not good enough', of feeling . . . of just feeling 'unloved', 'unlovable' . . . and just feeling 'sad'.

But, as Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Nothing can bring peace but yourself."

So, you have to learn . . . I have to learn . . . to love yourself, to learn to like yourself, to be accepting of who you are and what you are doing, and just be OK with that.  I do have to learn this.

Perhaps I need to learn to be grateful. To be grateful for the things that I do have. to focus on what I do have and learn to be grateful, learn to be so grateful that I don't have room for 'sad'.  I don't have time to be miserable, that I banish the unhappy.

I am not saying that this will be easy, but on those days where I feel a little bit sad and a little bit unhappy, I can perhaps learn to change my mind, I can change my mind and choose to be a little bit happy.

100 HAPPY DAYS

Everyone gets grumpy now and then, everyone sulks.  Everyone gets irritable, ill-tempered and grouchy.  Everyone gets in a bad mood, gets snappy, unpleasant and cross.  Everyone experiences an unhappy mood. Everyone gets sad.  Feels lonely.  Feels miserable.  Feels gloomy.  I simply can't be the only one?  I know that I am not; I know that I am not the only one and I know that I am not alone.  I know that when I am in pain I don't want to communicate. I want to grab my cat and lock myself away. I find it difficult to sustain interaction when I am in pain. This isn't necessarily the best way to cope. I'm sorry.

So, I have just signed up for #100HappyDays. This is an initiative of the Random Acts of Kindness (#RAK) Foundation.  What a fantastic idea. Let's give this a go. Let's be HAPPY.  A number of my friends have signed up for this with me, so we can encourage each other and share the happy.

"We live in times when super-busy schedules have become something to boast about. While the speed of life increases, there is less and less time to enjoy the moment that you are in. The ability to appreciate the moment, the environment and yourself in it is the base for the bridge towards long-term happiness of any human being. we need to be reminded to take joy and take pleasure from the small things. And in doing so, we may discover that these things are not so small after all.  These are in fact the big things."

 
Apparently, "71% of people tried to complete this challenge, but failed quoting lack of time as the main reason". These people simply did not have time to be happy. Do you have time to be happy? Are you prepared to make time to be happy?

"The idea is simple.  The idea is to every day submit a picture of what made you happy!"

"It can be anything from a meet-up with a friend to a very tasty cake in the nearby coffee place, from a feeling of being at home after a hard day to a favor you did to a stranger."  Your favourite beer or favourite fabric softner on special offer at the SuperMarket.  A cuddle with the cat, or watching your favourite TV Show or a piece of music played on the radio and a photo that captures that moment. A snap-shot of a moment that captures; that truly captures the happy.

 
"It is important to remember that the #100happyday challenge is for you - not for anyone else. It is not a happiness competition or a showing off contest. If you try to please / make others jealous via your pictures - you lose without even starting. Same goes for cheating."  It is important to remember that happiness is not a competition.  Happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy  This reminds me of the quote by Henry David Thoreau, (theAmerican author, poet, philosopher, historian, and leading various other things) which was on a card sent to me by a dear friend, “Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder...”

People successfully completing the challenge claimed to:

 - Start noticing what makes them happy every day;

 - Be in a better mood every day;

 - Start receiving more compliments from other people;

 - Realize how lucky they are to have the life they have;

 - Become more optimistic;

 - Fall in love during the challenge.

Even when the challenge is over the collected 100 happy moments can always remind you about the beauty of your life. I think that that is something worth finding the time to do.

Visitwww.100happydays.com/foundationfor more information.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BENEDICT

Happy Birthday to Benedict CUMBERBATCH; the utterly splendid Benedict Timothy Carlton CUMBERBATCH, who is 38 years old today.

Most of you already know this, are aware of the fact that I'm rather taken with Benedict CUMBERBATCH.  You see he is an actor, and he has played the role of Sherlock Holmes (See my previous BLOG Post on SHERLOCK HOLMES).  I have loved Sherlock Holmes, from the moment I purchased my first Canon.  I just fell in Love.

You are not supposed to love Sherlock HOLMES.  Sherlock HOLMES isn't loveable. He is damaged.  "It was not that he felt any emotion akin to love... All emotions, and that one particularly, were abhorrent to his cold, precise but admirably balanced mind." (SCAN), but yet somehow, there is something about his 'alone' that is quite upsetting, heart breaking, and I wanted to alleviate his pain.  He doesn't want to need anyone. He doesn't trust, and he doesn't need, and he doesn't love - or perhaps he fears trusting and fears needing and fears loving someone, in case that trust is broken and that need is violated or abused, and the love not returned.  To my mind, Benedict manages to make Sherlock human, yet is aware of those nuances of the character, those fine distinctions, those idiosyncrasies which make Holmes Holmes, which make him bonkers and brilliant, and damaged and a loner and "a brain without a heart" (GREE).

He (Benedict) has played the role of Professor Stephen HAWKING (See my previous BLOG Post on HAWKING).  I remember the first time I saw the 2004 film I didn't even know who Benedict CUMBERBATCH was, I just remember being very impressed at the time with the acting, with the sensitivity towards the role, with the way that the determination and dignity with which Professor HAWKING accomplished what he did, completing his PhD, whilst bravely facing the unknown in terms of his health and medical condition was captured.  In the 2013 film about Professor HAWKING, Benedict is interviewed and he talks very articulately about Motor Neurone Disease (MND), which really is the most terribly cruel neurological condition.  He expressed perfectly the "feelings of vulnerability" and the "terrifying prospect" of "a body that locks you in".  This is something I can relate to living with MS, which is a very different, but an equally cruel neurological condition.

He has played Major Jamie Stewart in the film of War Horse (See my previous BLOG Post on WAR HORSE).  I admit I haven't seen the film (I did go and see the National Theatre Live production of War Horse) as I am still traumatised from reading 'Black Beauty' as a child, but I am sure Benedict is splendid in it, and he learnt to ride a horse to play the part.

He has played Christopher TIETJENS in Tom STOPPARD's adaptation of Ford MADDOX FORD's 'Parade's End'. A powerful story set in the dying days of the Edwardian English Empire, covering a ten-year span before, during and after the First World War.  The glorious story of Christopher TIETJENS, a brilliant government statistician from a wealthy Yorkshire landowning family, "a man born out of his time but ultimately a hero" his wife, Silva TIETJENS, his "damaged, bored, dangerously privileged wife", and Valentine WANNOP, a young pacifist suffragette. "Valentine, an extraordinary young kindred spirit and intellect who provokes him into ‘gathering his thoughts’ and who fells him like a lightning bolt with her boyish beauty and pluck."  This is utterly perfect.  And I admit I fell a little bit in love with both Christopher and Valentine.

Recently Benedict has, arguably become somewhat ubiquitous: Star Trek Into Darkness; Twelve Years a Slave; The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug; August: Osange County; and he seems to 'pop up' in various places (i.e. at The Oscars, with a pretty spectacular photo bomb of U2) and be on various Chat Shows (on Jimmy Kimmel Live readingR. Kelly's "Genius"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNPp74zh8lM) and Adverts (for Jaguar 'Alive'http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5kCfXIPcfw), and be the subject of numerous articles and interviews and he was even at Chelsea Flower Show this year with Wanda VENTHAM (his Mum); and in Singapore for the F1 Racing and also in Monaco for the Monaco Grand Prix and Paris for the Tennis.  Basically, it is fair to say, he gets about a bit.

Cumberbatchweb (http://www.benedictcumberbatch.co.uk/is a fantastic website for all things Benedict) and it is raising funds for The Princes Trust in honour of Benedict's 38th birthday. So if you want to do something for Benedict's Birthday you can donate at:

http://www.justgiving.com/CumberbatchwebPT or you can donate by text by sending the code BCPT73 and the amount you want to donate (£1 £2, £3, £4, £5 or £10) to70070

So, Happy 38th Birthday Benedict CUMBERBATCH.  You are splendid. Wherever you are and whatever you do, celebrate in style and have a wonderful day.  I am sure that you will.

HAPPY

Thursday was 'International Day of Happiness'.  I met the girls for lunch on Thursday, two really lovely girls, and for that moment, sat eating, chatting, laughing, gossiping - I was happy.  I am lucky.  Very lucky.  To have such fabulous friends, who accept me for who I am.  Who love me 'just as I am'.

This made me think.  I had already been thinking about this.  I had been thinking about this quite a lot actually.  What is happy?  When is the last time that I felt happy?  Am I happy?  So, when is the last time that you felt happy?  Are you happy?  What makes us happy?

"Ask yourself whether you are happy and you cease to be so?"  This was the thinking of John Stuart MILL (the English Philosopher and Political Economist) who wrote about ideas such as Utilitarianism, Liberty, and Freedom of Speech.  In even asking the question 'are we happy' and analysing the answer, are we questioning our own happiness, and therefore reducing the probability that we actually are happy?  Do I deserve to be happy?  I do ask myself that.  I question that.  I question whether I deserve to be happy?  I question that all of the time.  This probably isn't healthy.  Everyone deserves to be happy.  Don't they?  To find their 'own kind of happy'.  I'm sure that happiness, what it is to be happy, means different things to different people.

And I mean 'Happy'.  Really 'Happy'. As opposed to 'Content'.  As opposed to 'Satisfied'.  As opposed to 'Pleased'. I mean HAPPY.

I think for me, happiness doesn't mean wealth and material possessions or fame or fortune.  For me happiness means loving and being loved.  They say that you can't buy happiness.  This I think is probably true.  I think that it probably true for me, for my kind of happiness.  They say that 'you can't buy happiness, but you can buy tea and that is kind of the same thing'.  There is certainly some truth in that too I think.

So what is it that makes me happy? Perhaps it is true that it is the simple pleasures in life that make us happy, that make me happy.  Bring us the most pleasure and the most happiness.  For me, it is probably a combination of the following things that make me happy. I've drawn up a little list:

♥ Time spent with friends

♥ Laughing / ♥ Talking / ♥ Sharing ideas

♥ Tea / ♥ Chocolate / ♥ Ice-Cream - i.e. the three major food groups

♥ Music

♥ A Good Book

♥ Sunshine

♥ Feeling Warm

♥ Good Health

♥ Benedict CUMBERBATCH

I think that happiness is probably linked to kindness and also linked to well-being; I think that there is probably an inextricable link between the three (Kindness, Happiness, Well-Being) (see my KINDNESS BLOG post from a few weeks ago).

I have MS.  So for me 'Good Health' is always going to be a struggle, so I shall try and concentrate on the other things on my list.  There is also probably a lot of truth in the statement that: "Nobody really cares if you are miserable, so you might as well be happy."  So, find what it is that makes you happy, and don't think too hard or too long about it; but find what it is or find who it is that make you happy, truly makes you happy, and do more of that.