Wednesday, 24 December 2014


I don't want a lot for Christmas...  Or, in the dulcet tones of Mariah Carey:

"I don't want a lot for Christmas;
There is just one thing I need;
I don't care about the presents;
Underneath the Christmas tree" ...

Growing up I was one of those girls that just wanted a pony.  I dreamed of owning my own pony to ride and groom and feed carrots.  That was it.  Nothing else.  If you'd have asked me as a child what I wanted for Christmas ... I just really wanted a pony.  Perhaps some felt-tip pens too.

Now that I have grown up and I am living with MS, I find that the things that I want, the thing that I really really most want is for an 'MS Free Christmas'.  What I would really like most are:
  • For the pain to end
  • A reduction in Fatigue: aka the energy to meet with Friend and to enjoy life.
have kind of got used to my other symptoms and have lived with them for so long (I was DX in 2011, but have lived with symptoms for much longer) - symptoms such as poor balance and cognitive difficulties and mood swings and dysaesthesia and bladder malfunctions and difficulties walking) that I have forgotten what it is like to live without them.  They have become part of who I am, I have adapted to accommodate them within my everyday life.  They are getting worse, but I have begrudging adapted, I have learned to adapt and accept that they are part of who I am, and so I just get on with it as best as I can.

But you do have moments, I have moment, when you think, when I think 'An MS free Christmas', how simply fabulous would that be?  But, Yes, if I got those things, if I got the things that are top of my list for an MS Free Christmas, if I got an end to my pain and a reduction in Fatigue: aka the energy to meet with Friend and to enjoy life, then I guess I would still probably, secretly still really really like a pony too... or a donkey ... and probably a puppy ... or a kitten ...
And I guess I would like World Peace and an end to hunger and an end to poverty and ease of access to clean drinking water.  I mean this is, as we've said the season of good-will to all men.  I am also reminded that 'Christmas is the time of year to be Grateful and count your blessings'.
recognise that even living with MS I do have a tremendous amount to be grateful for.  So, what am I grateful for?  What blessings am I counting?
think that I am most grateful for my friends.  To those kind, loving, energetic, strong, supportive, caring, courageous, patient, amazing; absolutely flipping AMAZING people in my life that I am both proud and grateful to call my friends.  I know that they are there for me; and that means the world.  They have been there for me when I have needed someone to be there for me.  They have not always been able to sort things out for me, or even to help, but they have ensured that I haven't faced things alone.  This is indeed a true test of friendship.  More than I could ever ask for.  Something that I cannot repay and something I am immensely grateful for.
So, What do you want for Christmas?  What is top of your Christmas list?  Whatever it is that you want, or think that you want, do spend a moment thinking and listing the things that you already have and that you are grateful for.  But, I do hope that you all get a pony.
May I wish you complements of the season and wish you a very Merry Christmas.  And in the words of Tiny Tim, "God Bless us everyone." (Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol, 1843).


  1. Merry Christmas Hanya. I hope you have a fabulous Christmas and a very, very Happy New Year!!

    1. Thank You Mike. I hope that the Postman bought you a little something x

  2. This is one of your best blogs you put into words what I would hope the majority of the population think. You ought to have a weekly column in the Leicester Mercury, if it was in my power I would grant all your Christmas wishes and even get a pony or donkey.

    1. Thank You Maud, I'm glad that you enjoyed it. Love. Hx