I don't want a lot for Christmas... Or, in the dulcet tones of Mariah Carey:
"I don't want a lot for Christmas;
There is just one thing I need;
I don't care about the presents;
Underneath the Christmas tree" ...
Growing up I was one of those girls that just wanted a pony. I dreamed of owning my own pony to ride and groom and feed carrots. That was it. Nothing else. If you'd have asked me as a child what I wanted for Christmas ... I just really wanted a pony. Perhaps some felt-tip pens too.
Now that I have grown up and I am living with MS, I find that the things that I want, the thing that I really really most want is for an 'MS Free Christmas'. What I would really like most are:
- For the pain to end
- A reduction in Fatigue: aka the energy to meet with Friend and to enjoy life.
I have kind of got used to my other symptoms and have lived with them for so long (I was DX in 2011, but have lived with symptoms for much longer) - symptoms such as poor balance and cognitive difficulties and mood swings and dysaesthesia and bladder malfunctions and difficulties walking) that I have forgotten what it is like to live without them. They have become part of who I am, I have adapted to accommodate them within my everyday life. They are getting worse, but I have begrudging adapted, I have learned to adapt and accept that they are part of who I am, and so I just get on with it as best as I can.
But you do have moments, I have moment, when you think, when I think 'An MS free Christmas', how simply fabulous would that be? But, Yes, if I got those things, if I got the things that are top of my list for an MS Free Christmas, if I got an end to my pain and a reduction in Fatigue: aka the energy to meet with Friend and to enjoy life, then I guess I would still probably, secretly still really really like a pony too... or a donkey ... and probably a puppy ... or a kitten ...
And I guess I would like World Peace and an end to hunger and an end to poverty and ease of access to clean drinking water. I mean this is, as we've said the season of good-will to all men. I am also reminded that 'Christmas is the time of year to be Grateful and count your blessings'.
I recognise that even living with MS I do have a tremendous amount to be grateful for. So, what am I grateful for? What blessings am I counting?
I think that I am most grateful for my friends. To those kind, loving, energetic, strong, supportive, caring, courageous, patient, amazing; absolutely flipping AMAZING people in my life that I am both proud and grateful to call my friends. I know that they are there for me; and that means the world. They have been there for me when I have needed someone to be there for me. They have not always been able to sort things out for me, or even to help, but they have ensured that I haven't faced things alone. This is indeed a true test of friendship. More than I could ever ask for. Something that I cannot repay and something I am immensely grateful for.
So, What do you want for Christmas? What is top of your Christmas list? Whatever it is that you want, or think that you want, do spend a moment thinking and listing the things that you already have and that you are grateful for. But, I do hope that you all get a pony.
May I wish you complements of the season and wish you a very Merry Christmas. And in the words of Tiny Tim, "God Bless us everyone." (Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol, 1843).